What do you call a mom who turns into a dad? Transparent. How does a non-binary samurai kill people? They/Them.įriend: “Bro, can you pass me that pamphlet?” What do you call an obese psychic? A four-chin teller. I said it must be my weekend immune system. My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. What did the big flower say to the tiny flower? “Hey there bud!” What did Adam say to his GF on the 24th of December? How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints. I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.
What do you need to make a small fortune on Wall Street? I’m starting a flight company exclusively for bald people, I’ll call it… Receding airlines.ĭid you hear about the cheese that’s been working out? Dude’s shredded What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO. How did the pirate get his ship so cheap? It was on sail. What do you call Father Christmas in an orange suit? Fanta Claus. I had a great joke about COVID… but I don’t wanna spread it around. I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle.ĭid you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen? They break out in hives. If sweet dreams are made of cheese… Who am I to dis-a-brie? My son got angry when I told him “Sky is the limit for you”. Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe. How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars. How do you get a blind person to see? Usually by boat. Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted. What do call a criminal landing an airplane? ConDescending. I can’t find my ‘Gone in 60 seconds’ DVD. I’m really excited for the amateur autopsy club I just joined. Why are bakers so rich? They make so much dough. What language do people speak in the middle of the earth? Core-ean
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete? Because she wanted to see the task manager. What do you call Bill Gates when he’s flying? A Bill-in-air. Thinking of having my ashes stored in a glass urn. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Wherever you left it. I once got fired from a canned juice factory. Why can’t you send a duck to space? Because the bill would be astronomical. Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha. People are usually shocked when they find out… I’m a bad electrician. What do you call a coupon-using vampire? Suckers for deals! My wife and I let astrology get between us.
What’s an arsonist favorite holiday? The 4th of July. I asked 10 people what LGTBQ standed for… Couldn’t get a straight answer! Who is the most lonely billionaire? Alone musk. What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language. Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia with a Mastercard? Because his Visa didn’t work.
What’s a demon’s favorite handwriting style? Cursive. I told my wife she needs to start embracing her mistakes. What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue. What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account? Prime mates. Dad Jokes: 150 Best Dad Jokes and One-Liners Dad Joke With that in mind, let us take a look at some of the best, corniest and funniest dad jokes around. Whether you already have a whole host of dad jokes at your disposal to simply looking to find the corniest jokes, we have something for everyone. Everyone likes to have a laugh from time to time, but when it comes to those classic dad jokes that you hear once in a while, they can either raise the roof, or bring the house collapsing down.
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